The year was 2019 and everyone thought it was the worst, which was a bit shortsighted all things considered. Sure things weren’t perfect, trade wars, failed nuclear deals, escalating middle east tensions, but you could at least go to the bar and get a drink with some friends to complain about it. That was also the year I decided to start taking my writing seriously. My motive? Shame.
Queue August 2019, sitting a a hotel in Seattle Washington watching all my budding buddies share there work at the Cascade Writers Conference and me, sitting on the sidelines, realizing that after 5 years of calling myself a writer I didn’t have a single finished story to show for it. I felt a great sense of inadequacy as I watched all these talented individuals putting themselves out there and pushing thier literary limits. I cheered for my friends but I also felt a fever come over me.
Could I even call myself a writer when I had nothing to show for it?
I struggled with that notion for a long while. I struggled to explain to others and myself what the hell was I doing there? Imposter felt like the word i should put on the business cards i didn’t bother to print. In essence, I worried I was the last runner in a long race on the verge of giving up.
The second day I sat there unable to join the critiques. But as I watched, I noticed the behaviors of the groups. I noticed the honest critical thinking put into their words, as well as, the receptive nature of the authors getting feedback. I was watching them all race ahead of me and, though they stumbled, they kept on. My second wind came up strong and I decided not to give up. I decided to keep on writing.
I’d decided to shift my focus from the novel I’d been struggling with and more on my short stories. I wanted to finish something and be able to be proud of the work I delivered. So I did it. I took to my Monday Prompts with renewed fever and began selecting the ones that I wanted to refine.
From that year onwards I decided to create a shorts book and as of yesterday I’m officially the proud self published author of Porcelain Reads: small stories for small bladders!
Admittedly when I said I’d take my writing seriously earlier, I in no way meant my content 😉
Are a lot of people going to read it? Probably not
Is it going to make money? Hell no.
Was it fun? 100% yes
Even though I’m behind everyone else, I’ve decided to keep racing forwards and I’m really happy I have.